Evangelion: Fight Club
by Turles
Summary: Imagine this, Shinji Ikari meets Tyler Durden. We have three things, madness, mayhem and soap. If you want to know just read it and find out.
1. Tyler Durden

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Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, Fight Club or any of the songs that are used in this story. All copyrights belong to their respective owners.

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Readers Note: Recently, I had to take down my fan fics because of a small HTML corruption. This is a re-post 

Neon Genesis

EVANGELION 

E 

****

A small Fan Fiction series by

Turles

Episode: Unknown 01

Tyler Durden 

E 

My name is Shinji Ikari, and this is the story of Fight Club. I think all of this, fight club, my growth, and Tyler. All of this started with a trip; I was to go to Tokyo-2 strictly on business. My business is I'm an Eva pilot and my mission is to kill the angels. The Eva that I pilot is a giant robot and I am the Third Child, even though I didn't exactly choose it. A man once said that it was my destiny, my talent. Then again, it doesn't matter to me; I just do what I'm asked to. 

Let me tell you about Tokyo-3, my home. At least Tokyo-3 has become my home, my home used to be with a teacher of mine. But then I received a call from my father to come to Tokyo-3 it was there I met Captain Misato Katsuragi. Probably the most exhibitionist person I have ever met in my life and the sloppiest on top of that. Although she isn't a bad person, she was one of these people that in her home she's one person and when she's at work she's someone completely different, almost as if she has split personalities. 

Tokyo-3 was like a fortress, its buildings would sink into the ground at a certain time and then they would rise up as if they were growing. When they would sink in they would go into an underground cavern, a GeoFront as they're called. Misato once told me that it's a fortress built to withstand the ages, this is Tokyo-3 and it's the city I protected. 

After living in this place for a while and piloting the Eva I became settled into this "new lifestyle". Although I have met some interesting people, such as the Nerv (the organization that uses the Eva's) Doctor Ritsuko Akagi. In my opinion she's one of these people who loves their work. Although there's nothing wrong with that, but that's mostly all she does. One could say that she's not very adept at living. The same could be said with my co-worker and fellow Eva Pilot Rei Ayanami, the First Child.

She is another odd character, Rei. She's bland, like a white sheet of paper that hasn't been written on or drawn on just yet. At least that's what her personality is like, but her piloting skills are good, even though her Eva has a tendency to go berserk every so often. 

Then there's my other roommate, Asuka Langley Souryu. She's… pretty fiery and hot headed. She also pilots an Eva as well, she's the Second Child, but she only pilots the Eva for recognition as if the Eva would help her win a popularity contest among our generation. She always yells and shouts at me for out-staging her. Personally I think she's a bitch, if I wanted her kind of abuse I would have stayed with my dad. 

Last of all, my father, one of the last people that I want to think about. 

But I'll continue on how I met Tyler. I was going to Tokyo-2 on business, basically I was sent there for a special kind of test. The scientists there wanted to know why my Synchronization ratio was so high when I first came to Nerv and Tokyo-3. Almost like physiologists trying to find out where genius comes from. What can I say? At least it will help me get away from Tokyo-3 and from Asuka and my father. 

I don't want to talk about what went on with those scientists and this special Synchronization test. I'd much rather get to how I met Tyler. 

While I was in Tokyo-2 the tests were completed a day early, the scientists there thought that they got all that they needed. So I thought I'd head on down to the beach, get a tan while I'm here. At least it would give me a chance to relax a little bit before going back to the hell of piloting the Eva, facing my dad, and Asuka. Just allow me to enjoy myself.

While I was lying on the beach I heard a voice call from my left. I sat up and I saw a man, who looked a little into his late teens perhaps his early twenties. He seemed to be pretty muscular from what I could see in his defined muscles. He called to me, and he wanted to know something.

"Do you know what time it is?" He asked me

I looked at my watch and I told him, "It's 3:29." 

"Thank you."

I watched him and it looked as though he was making something in the sand. I was a little bit curious as to what he was doing. Although I didn't dwell too much on the why he asked me what time it was. But I stood and saw what he was making he was making a Yin-Yang in the sand. One part of it he was scratching and raking his fingers through the sand to give a dark shade in it. While the other he left untouched and when he was done he simply sat in the center of the Yin-Yang in a lotus position as if was calming his own spirit to ponder the meaning's of life, which is something I wish I could do for my own self worth.

I watched this man who asked me the time with a certain interest. But I dropped it thinking that he was a stranger and I don't normally start conversations with strangers, that part's usually up to them when I'm involved. So I went back to lying down on the ground and getting my tan.

E 

I wake up on the plane back to Tokyo-3. And I find sitting next to me is the man I met on the beach. He's reading the emergency card that is stored in the seat pocket. He looks at it and reads it out loud to himself. I notice that he's wearing a leather bomber's jacket with a white button-up dress shirt inside it. And he's wearing a pair of jeans that look as though they've been pretty well worn. 

"If you feel that you are unable to do these duties." He reads out loud, "Ask the stewardess to reseat you. That's a lot of responsibility."

He turns his head towards me. He smiles. He has black hair and brown eyes and tan skin, probably from being on the beach the day he asked me what time it was. 

"Do you know why they put oxygen masks on airplanes?" He asks me

"To breath?" I answer

"Partially," he tells me, "But truly, oxygen gets you high. In such a panicked state with the oxygen mask on you, you take panicked breaths. You become docile and you accept your fate." He shows me the card and points at the people depicted on it. "Look, their faces are docile and serene. Like Hindu cows. Do you want to switch seats?"

"No." I shake my head, "I don't think I can do that."  
"Alright." He says as he sits back

"What do you do?" I ask him

He looks at me with an odd look in his eye, "Why do you want to know?" He asks, "So you can pretend that you're interested?" 

"No, I'm just curious."

He shrugs and he reaches for his briefcase that he stored under the seat in front of him. It's a brown leather briefcase and he clicks it open. 

"Soap." He says, "I make and I sell soap. The yardstick of civilization."  
I take a peek inside his briefcase and I see bars of soap that look like pink and white marble bars. Each of them wrapped in twine thread and underneath them is a card. He pulls out a card from one of the holders in the case and hands it to me. 

This is how I met Tyler Durden.

The card reads this

__

Tyler Durden

Paperstreet Soap Company

1123 Yuki St.

Tokyo-3

"You work in Tokyo-3?" I ask

"Sure." He smiles as he leans back in his seat.

"How do you make soap?" I ask him, because it is something that I was wondering about.

"Simple." He smiles, "You just need fat and lye and you can make soap."

It's at this point I decide to introduce myself, I thought that it might just be rude not to. Since he's already shown me what he does and what his name is.

"I'm Shinji Ikari." I introduce myself

"The Eva Pilot."

"How did you know that?" I ask him, I'm a bit surprised that he would know that even though Nerv has this tendency to keep things a secret.

"I watch the news." He says 

E 

I'm back home in the small condo where I live with Misato and Asuka. Of course Misato greets me as I walk through the door as she said when I first came here. I see Misato's face, her 30-something face with its smile that was only shown this way around home. 

"I'm home," I say.

"Welcome home." She says

I head to my little cramped room with its small bed and my stuff still in their boxes. I used to have the room down the hall, until Asuka came along and took it from me. Now that I think about it, she's no different that the other takers that have come before her. 

I simply lay on my bed and look up at the unfamiliar ceiling, thinking about how things have turned out. It's ironic that I've been in this city for a few months and still this ceiling is unfamiliar to me, just like everything else here. 

I hear Asuka come into my room and she starts up again.

"You're home." She says

Here I am again, back to the abuse that I was getting used to not having while I was on the beach. 

"Yeah." I say still looking up at the unfamiliar ceiling, I don't want to say anything more than that to her. Otherwise she'll go off on her tangents like a firework that's out of control. And that is when she goes from zero to super bitch in .05 seconds. But then it was inevitable, just by saying _yeah_ to her made her go off.

"I'm not too important for you to talk to is that it Third Child?" She says

I say nothing,

"You think your all that much better than me that you don't have to talk to me is that it?"

I look at her and see her closing her eyes and sticking her nose up into the air, clearly showing her own arrogance like some kind of pathetic peacock. So I got out of my bed and I left the condo. I just wanted to get out of there, out of that condo where I have to put up with Asuka and her antics about me out-staging her. I left the condo without even saying why or where I was going. Although Asuka didn't notice she was enjoying herself too much by rambling. Misato on the other hand I found out was already asleep from so much beer. 

If you were to ask me now, I don't know why I thought about Tyler. Something compelled me to go out and talk with him for some reason or another. I went to the phone on the corner and I reached into my pocket and pulled out the business card that read _Paperstreet Soap Company._ And I found the number at the bottom and I called him.

I heard the phone ring and I heard someone pick up. The next sound I heard was the sound of someone munching on chips. 

"Hello?" The voice of Tyler asked

"Tyler?" I ask

"Who is this?" 

"This is, Shinji Ikari. The Eva pilot, we met on the plane."

"Oh yeah." He says remembering me, "What can I do for you?"

"Can we meet somewhere?"

E 

Tyler and I decide to meet at a small Raman noodle stand somewhere in the city. I tell him some of the reasons why I called him and why we were sitting with each other at this small stand. I tell him mostly it's because of Asuka.

"Don't tell me you slept with her." Tyler says

"No." I say startled, "Why would I?"

"Sorry." Tyler says as he eats the noodles, "Then again from what you've told me about her, I'm not sure why anyone would want to."

"Yeah. But she's always bitching and moaning about how either I or Ayanami do better than her or bail her out of situations."  
As Tyler's slurping the noodles, he wipes his mouth and says to me, "It could be worse."

"How?" I ask him

"Well." He starts, "That Asuka bitch your living with could cut your penis off while your asleep and then toss it out the window of a moving car."

The idea of this happening did strike me as both frightening and profound. I shrug and simply say, "You're right."

We both finish our noodles and of course I didn't bring my wallet so Tyler picked up the tab on this small dinner, but then again I wasn't too hungry because I ate a little bit of that Chicken Cordon Blue hobby kit that was on the plane.

As we finished Tyler looks at me and asks me a question; "Do you know what a dufe is?" 

I hadn't the slightest idea of what he was talking about so I spoke the truth, "No."

"It's a blanket." He explains

But I listened with interest because if this will be as profound as the idea of things could be worse then I'll listen.

"But is it really important that guys like you and me know what a dufe is, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. So what are we?"

I shrug and think about my economics class, "Consumers?"

"Exactly." Tyler nods, "We're consumers, byproducts of a society lifestyle. The Second Impact, the Angels, murder, crime, and poverty. These things don't concern me. What truly concerns me are Celebrity Magazines, television with 500 channels and not one that interests you, models telling you how you should look, and some guys name on my underwear. Calvin Klein, Playboy, Viagra, Prozac."

"Martha Stewart?" I ask

"Fuck Martha Stewart." He says to me, "Martha like all the other stuff it's going down like society after the Second Impact. So I say, hell with it all. May I never be content or complete, because the things you own end up owning you."

Tyler's words sounded like music to my ears, for so long I wanted to meet someone like him, someone who can help me. Help me Tyler. Deliver me from my need to be approved by everyone, deliver me from Asuka and my father. 

We walk away from the Ramon noodle stand and we find ourselves in the parking lot of a small time bar. I suddenly ask him something else about what he does.

"What else do you do, other than make soap?" I ask

"I have a part time job as a projectionist. You see when you go to the theater and watch a movie you'll see these little dots come up into the right hand corner of the screen. In the industry we call them cigarette burns, one's a fifteen-minute warning the next is a five minute warning. That's the cue for the projectionist to change the reels. So that way when things change over the audience has no clue what's going on. And why would anyone want this shit job?"

"Why?" I ask him

We stop in the middle of the parking lot; there are no cars or people, just I and he under the sodium and mercury vapor lamps of the city.

"Cause it helps me do some interesting things. Like splicing single frames of porno movies into family films. Such as when you see the courageous hero getting the girl in the G-rated movie, that's when you'll see my work. Nobody knows they saw it but they did, nice big cock and of course T&A. Not even a humming bird could catch me at work."

He smiles, I presume he's thinking about one of those times that he's done this. I can imagine him laughing as he watches the audience try to figure out what in the hell they just saw on the screen. 

I look at my watch, "I think I should get back home." I say

"Really?" He says, "You really want to go back to that? A 30-year old woman that drinks beer in the morning and a 14-year-old bitch who yells at you day in and day out? Do you really want to go back to that?"

I look at my shoes, "No."

"Then stay at my place."

"Is it a problem?" I ask him

"Is it a problem for you to ask?"

I pause, then I say, "No."

"Than it's alright by me."

"Thanks." I say

We are about to continue on our walk to his house on Yuki street, but then he stops.

"I have a favor to ask you, Shinji." He says

"What?" 

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

"What?"

"_I want you to hit me as hard as you can."_

E 

There are no Angel attacks so far, so I'm at school and going through my classes but one of my classmate's notices something about my face. The classmate's name is Toji Suzahara, at first when I came here to Tokyo-3 he hated me for his sisters' injury because of my Eva. But somehow he saw how hard I fight in the Eva. And that is how we became "friends". 

He notices something about me. Thankfully it's break time and he can talk to me.

"Hey, Shinji." He says 

I'm working on something that Tyler asked me to work on.

"Yeah?" I ask

"What happened to your face?"

I reach up to feel the swelling in the side of my face where Tyler hit me. That is what he asked me, he wanted me to hit him as hard as I could and I did. Then he hit me and that is where it first landed in the left side of my face. I can feel the bruises where he hit me in my sides and my arms. But there is only one bruise on my face and that's the one that Toji notices. 

"Nothing happened." I tell him

"Don't lie to me." He says, "I know when someone's been in a fight and it looks like you've been in one. Did that bitch beat you up?"

"I HEARD THAT!" Asuka yells from the other side of the room

"No, it wasn't her." I tell Toji, "It's nothing."

Then he notices my shirt, "Is that blood?" He asks

I look at the blood on my white shirt and remember when I got a bloody nose from the fight Tyler and I had. 

"Don't worry." I say, "It's mine."

Toji doesn't say anything else, he simply sits down and no one talks to me for the rest of the day at school. Not even Asuka bugs me, but she likes to yell at me for not doing some small detail in making the lunches for both of us. If that's the case then it will be a good day. Then again, this is probably the last day of school for a while, because summer will begin. 

What happened between Tyler and me was, as he liked to call it, a first step towards enlightenment. He told me that there are meditative properties to fighting, and some say that when you fight you can find the answers to your own problems. He liked to put it this way, _fighting helps you come to a certain state of mind in which you can find the answers._

It was then he asked me a question, _Would you like to find your answers, Shinji Ikari?_

I told him yes. I was sick of all of this; being an Eva pilot, the abuse, and my father. All of it, I can't stand any of it.

I thought it was going to be a quiet day, that is until Asuka came up to me towards the end of school during clean up. 

"Why didn't you come home last night?" She asks, I'm not sure from the tone in her voice whether she just wanted an answer or if she was concerned for my well being. 

"Why does that matter?" I ask her while I'm going back to cleaning

"It matters because Misato wants to know." 

"Oh." I say, "For a moment I thought you were concerned about me."

I simply go back to cleaning and ignore her nagging questions. That is until someone asks her to come and help her with some kind of cleaning job. Now I can be left alone to think about the fight, I can feel the throb in my face and my sides from the fight I had.

We fought underneath the bluish and yellowish light of the sodium and mercury vapor lamps in the night of Tokyo-3. He asked me to hit him as hard as I could, but I was reluctant at first. I didn't know if he really wanted it or whether he was just joking with me.

"Why not?" He asked me, "I don't want to die without any scars. So come on."

I drew back my fist and it landed right in his stomach and he was bending over in pain.

"Mother fucker!" He cursed, "You hit me right in my stomach. And I just ate you son of a bitch!"

"God, I'm sorry." I said

"No, it's perfect." 

He then drew back his fist and it landed in my face. At first all I could feel was a hard thump that was shaped like Tyler's fist against my face. In the first few seconds it feels like a deep impression in my left cheek. But then the pain began; it began to feel like it was on fire. Like someone had set a grease fire on my cheek. I cupped both my hands against my face and held the wound and wishing for a piece of raw steak to cool it off. But Tyler came to me and asked me if I was all right.

"Yeah." I said, "That was great." 

It's true it felt great, it felt like such a rush. It didn't feel like those slaps I got from Ayanami or Asuka, but it truly felt like a rush from truly fighting another person. This is what I've been missing out on. 

"Shall we continue?" Tyler asked me

"Hell yes." I said 

And we continued to fight, hitting each other in our sides and blocking each other's punches with our forearms. That is the cause for these sore feelings and bruises in my sides and arms. 

I was working on a set of rules for fights each night Tyler and I "went at it" as he called it. Basically he put me in charge of making the rules for a fight to make sure that no fight will be unfair in anyway. I haven't finished making up the rules, so I'll finish that when I get home. That is if I won't have to endure more abuse from Asuka or nagging from Misato.

I should tell you what the place that I stayed at was like. Tyler's home, it was pretty bad. The place looked like it needed to be torn down. The door's hinges were broken off from when whoever kicked it in. And inside it looked like anyone of the floorboards could cave in at any moment. The stairwell looked as thought it was about to collapse. Anywhere you looked there were rusty nails or pieces of wood sticking out to catch onto your shirt. When you would turn one light on in the house you had to turn another one off. Tyler told me that whenever it rained you had to turn off the power. The wood swells and expanded whenever it rained. 

While I was there spending the night I found something. Something that did interest me and what has shaped me through this part of my life. I found a stack of articles written by organs in the first person. "I am Jack's Medulla Oblongata. I am Jill's Nipple. I am Jack's Colon."

I told this to Tyler while I was walking around the room pacing and thinking. 

"What are you reading?" He asks me 

I tell him about these articles, and he makes a comment on the "I am Jack's Colon."

"I get cancer." He smiles, "I kill Jack."

That is where I spent the night on a smelly mattress that would make the slightest noise in its springs whenever I moved. The mattress smells of sweat and beer. I endure it by looking up at yet another unfamiliar ceiling. Has this life of mine (with the Eva, Misato, and Asuka) was it a dream? Had I been sleeping? Or is this the reality I wanted to wake up to. 

Only in Tyler will I find some kind of salvation. 

**__**

To be continued… 

Author's Notes: I wrote this story after I saw a small music video that is posted on animemusicvideos.org, it was by the studio called, "Nightowl Studios", who made a music video about Evangelion set to the song from Fight Club called "This is your Life". When I heard those words in Fight Club, I had a thought, "If anyone in all of Anime needs Fight Club, it is definitely Shinji Ikari." So I watched the movie and read the book to get an idea of what to do as well as how it is written and I started and this is the result. I hope that other readers will enjoy this. If you like Fight Club and Evangelion then this is the fic for you. 


	2. The Rules

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Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, Fight Club or any of the songs that are used in this story. All copyrights belong to their respective owners.

****

Readers Note: Recently, I had to take down my fan fics because of a small HTML corruption. This is a re-post 

Neon Genesis

EVANGELION 

E 

****

A small Fan Fiction series by

Turles

Episode: Unknown 02

The Rules

E 

"Rain… dark shadows of gloom hang above me. That's how I feel. This isn't how I wish to be." 

Shinji Ikari

I am Jack's Sense of Loneliness. When I woke up that morning two days after the fight and already I wanted to see Tyler again. I wanted to talk to him, to hear his words of wisdom and to have a fight again. But before I could ever see him I needed to get this rules list finished. I had already about seven rules that I could think of, but if I could create one final rule then the fights will be fair. 

As I was working on an eighth rule I thought about this feeling I've had. Everyday ever since I met Tyler I felt tired when I woke up but I couldn't go back to sleep knowing that I needed to get something done on one day or another. 

For the last few nights I couldn't sleep, and now I realize what Purgatory is like. Purgatory is a place where you're not really dead or really alive. Insomnia is the same way, you're not really asleep and you're not really awake. So yesterday I went to Dr. Ritsuko (the workaholic of Nerv) and asked her about insomnia.

"No." She said, "You can't die from insomnia." She seemed to say it with that same huge ego attitude that said _I'm a great doctor so worship me you undereducated scum._

"Please." I asked, "Can't you give me something."

I prayed for some kind of drug I can take that will help me sleep. Lipstick red secinal.

"You just need to relax Shinji." Ritsuko explained, "Otherwise your Sync rate will drop. Just chew some Valerian root and get some exercise and you'll be fine."

She tried to use that sync rate excuse to get me off of her own back and she would go back to her work. That's how frigid she seemed to me. She was about to get up and go back to her work and I stopped her.

"Wait." I said, "I'm in pain here."

"You want to see pain Shinji?" She asked, "Go by the community center tonight and watch the men with Testicular Cancer. That's pain."

Testicular cancer, I thought, it's amazing that we can make these giant robots and other things yet we haven't even found a cure for some of these cancers. Goes to show how the priorities of humanity are mixed up like toss salad. 

So out of curiosity I went by the Community Center and I sat in, although I didn't want anyone to know that I was Shinji Ikari or the Evangelion Pilot. I don't want to have that celebrity feeling like I had at my first day of class when a classmate asked me if I was the pilot. So I chose a name, I chose the name _Cornelious. _I know it sounds really bad but I had to pick something that wasn't mine. 

I sat and I watched the others talk about how they had this cancer that would consume their part which is most sacred to them. I watched them cry because they lost something that made them a man and the ability to have children. It made me think of my own situation and what Tyler said about Asuka.

_She could cut your penis off while you're asleep and toss it out the window of a moving car._

He was right and I would end up like these guys sitting in the metallic fold up chairs and crying their eyes out. I felt enormously sorry for every one of them. Then suddenly the head of this group said that it was time to hook up with a partner and share our feelings with each other. I sat in my metallic fold up chair and I looked across from me and I saw a large man whose girth was over the edge of the chair. He got up and his eyes were already shrink-wrapped in tears and he waddled over to me. 

This was Bob Paulson. His testicles were removed a few months ago, he tells me, and he was on hormone therapy and his body upped the estrogen and his pecks were now bitch tits. He was a body builder, now he tells me that he's broke, divorced and his own children won't return his own phone calls. 

When I heard that his own children wouldn't return his own phone calls I thought about my father. I don't know why but pressed against Bob's chest I fell into darkness and I let go. I began to cry. How long had it been since I cried the last? Probably ever since I was a child that was the only true time that I cried. Now I was crying not only for myself but also for this stranger who was pouring his own heart to me (and I'm a complete stranger to him as well). 

"Go ahead." He said to me softly after he poured out his heart and soul to me, "You can cry."

I hadn't known him for a few minutes and he already assumed that I had my testicles removed, but I hugged him. I wrapped my arms around as much of his girth as I could and I began to cry again. 

When I left that meeting I felt great, I felt as though the weight of the world had been taken off of my shoulders. I got the same rush that I got when I was in the fight with Tyler. I went home (back to Asuka and Misato) with a huge smile on my face. I felt that there was nothing that could tear me down. At least that's what I thought when I walked through the door. 

After the crying session, we all sat down. The head of the group came up and started the second part of the meeting; this was guided meditation.

"Now." He begins, "Close your eyes, take in a deep breath and let it out slowly." 

They always do this but I find that it usually doesn't work because your doing it so much that your brain feels like it's going to freeze from all the air your sucking in. But I went along with it to see what was going to happen. 

"Now you find your doors. Your Chakra centers." 

In my minds eye I imagine myself at the base of a mountain that somehow has doors attached in its sides. I have no concept of how they got there, nor do I care of how they got there. 

"You find the green door and you step through the green door."  
I open the green door and find nothing but darkness inside it and I'm supposed to step through it? What the hell? Doing this sure beats sitting in that entry plug, smelling the stench of the LCL fluid in my nose and having to hear Ritsuko harp on me most of the time. I step through beyond the door and I watch it close from all the light being shut out. It's all-dark in here. 

"You've stepped through your heart door and now you're inside your heart."

I expected the inside of my heart to be dark, warm and hearing a constant thump-thump noise. It was dark, but it wasn't warm and all I heard was water dripping onto the hard ground. 

"You're at the entrance to your cave. You're going inside your cave."

The whole scenery changes and suddenly I'm in a cave, and the cave is dark, dank and cold. Is this what my hearts like? I step through it all hearing the sound of my shoes against the icy floor. It feels colder as I go through, I look up and with as little light as there was in this place, I saw stalagmites and stalactites. Some of them were rock but others were of ice, all of them dripping water constantly to the floor. I think about all those tears I've shed. The tears I wept when my father left me and when I had my arms around Bob Paulson. 

"You're going to find your power animal."

Power animal? That's a bit of a stretch, but I went looking and I came out of the narrow passage of the cave to an enormous opening. The place seemed wonderful, I don't know where all the subtle light was coming from but it seemed as though that whatever was in this cave was generating light on its own. I saw crystals everywhere, or what I thought was crystals embedded in the wall, in the ceiling, and in the stalagmites as well as the stalactites. But the floor was smooth like freshly cleaned ice. 

The light seemed to be coming from some of the crystals in this cave. What were they I thought? This is where I found my power animal, with the light of the crystals I saw my power animal waddling towards me. I saw its figure for a moment, it was short and fat. It came into the crystal light, it was Pen-Pen, Misato's pet Penguin. This was my power animal? Then I heard a voice, it wasn't anyone from the group, but it was coming from Pen-Pen.

"Slide." It said as it went down on its belly and slid across the icy smooth floor. 

But that wasn't the end of it, from the darkness something else came. It came into the light and I knew who it was. Asuka Langely Sohryuu, she was the scratch in the room of my mouth. A scratch that could heal if I could stop tonguing it but I can't. It still didn't stop there.

"Slide." She said as she reached for Pen-Pen and strangled it while she was hitting it to death, splattering its penguin blood everywhere. 

I snapped out of it, what the hell was that? I thought to myself.

When I left that meeting I felt great, I felt as though the weight of the world had been taken off of my shoulders. Except for that part where I found Asuka in my cave with my power animal. I got the same rush that I got when I was in the fight with Tyler. I went home (back to Asuka and Misato) with a huge smile on my face. I felt that there was nothing that could tear me down. At least that's what I thought when I walked through the door.

E 

"Hello Shinji." Misato said to me as I walked in

"Hi." I said

She looks at my face with surprise, "Oh my god! What happened to your face and where have you been?" 

I tried to think of an excuse but I had to tell the truth, "I went to a small meeting." But with the bruise on my face I said, "Don't worry about my face, nothings broken."  
Asuka was there; she was leaning against the wall and waiting to hear what the meeting was about.

"Ritsuko told me that she suggested that you go down to the community center where they have a meeting about men with testicular cancer. Is that where you were?"

Already Asuka was starting up, "Ew!" She said with disgust, "Testicular cancer? Who would want to live with a man with that? He's not even a man anymore."

I couldn't help it. When I heard Asuka say things like that I thought about Robert Paulson and how sad he was that he had his testicles removed. There was the proof that I needed of how cruel someone can be simply because nature had dealt an awful hand. I even had the memory of how Asuka had strangled my power animal to death. I simply allowed myself to let go again. 

"SHUT UP!" I shouted, "I need this! I can't sleep without it!"

I saw a glimpse of terror in Asuka's eyes for a moment. Then I looked back at Misato who not only seemed fearful but worried about me in some way.

"Ritsuko also told me," She said, "that you haven't been sleeping well." 

"I haven't. But right now I'm a bit tired. So I'll head to bed."

Thankfully my shout at Asuka must have shaken them up a lot so they didn't say anything to me. Not even Asuka, she didn't start up at me either now after all this I can be at peace. 

That was yesterday, now I can work on the eighth rule for fighting.

I was sitting at my cramped desk when I heard Asuka come through the door of my room. She saw me working on my rules list or at least she saw me work on a piece of paper. Even if she did look over my shoulder she probably wouldn't have understood the Kanji. 

"What are you working on Third Child?" She asked

I lied, "I'm working on something for school."

"Oh, always such the studious one."

_Big talk, _I thought, _Big talk from someone whose grades aren't in very good shape._

I didn't say a word.

"You were pretty aggressive last night Third Child." 

I still don't say anything, I have nothing to say to her. I don't even want to say anything to her. 

"Say something!" She demanded as she lightly slammed her hand on my desk

"What do you want me to say?" I ask

She stomps out of my room sighing; "You're impossible!"

_You're easy_ I thought. She says I'm impossible, when she's the one who's trying to give herself (or rather _throw herself_) at a thirty-year-old man named Kaji. The man was probably old enough to be her father, and yet she's willingly throwing herself at him whenever she gets a chance. Pathetic I think, although I don't dare say a word of it to her. 

I went back to the rules and I still couldn't think of a eighth one. So I reached for the cell phone that Misato gave me, at least I can use this to talk privately. And I called Tyler. 

"Hello?" The voice asked

"Tyler?" I asked

"Shinji!" he called, "How have you been man?" 

"Fine. Listen I'm having trouble with the eighth rule and I was wondering if you could help me with it."

"Sure." He says, "Come down to my house and we'll figure something out."

I go and grab my bag that has a small computer in it, a notepad and a binder. I leave, thankfully Misato's not there. She must be at work doing day-duty or something like that. And I head to Tyler's place; not even Asuka knew where I was going. Personally I don't think she even cared. 

E 

"What rules have you worked out?" Tyler asked

I tell him, 

"The first rule of fight club is, you do not talk about fight club."

"Good." Tyler complements and asks me to continue on

"Second rule of fight club is, _you do not talk about fight club!"_

"Very good." Tyler says

"Third rule; some yells stop, goes limp taps out, fight is over. Fourth rule, only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule, one fight at a time. Sixth rule, no shirts and no shoes. Seventh rule, fights will go on as long as they have to. And that's it."

Tyler nods, "You've done well Shinji. This is even better than all those times you've killed the Angels."

I nod, "Thanks."

"You feel there's an eighth rule missing right?" Tyler cups his chin, which was already stubby with a partial beard.

"Yes." I say

"I have an idea."

"What is it?" I lean forward with curiosity. 

"The eighth and final rule. If this is your first night at fight club…" he pauses and suddenly I take over.

"You have to fight." I say

Tyler smiles a smile that was both friendly and somewhat devilish at the same time, "Right. Extremely good."

"I'll put that in. You know it's odd to call this fight club even though there's just you and me."  
"Don't worry." Tyler leans back on the old smelling sofa, "Others will join us."

"I know that the first two rules forbid us talking about it." I say, "But I think Toji and Kenske should come to this."

Tyler looks at me; "You're classmates?"

"Yeah."

"It does break the first two rules, but then again, if they want to know where you get your bruises from, they'll follow you."

"Yeah."

The two of us sit back and not say anything to each other. We're just sitting in our separate old chairs that would creek whenever you moved. Suddenly Tyler asked me something.

"Hey, if you were to fight anyone, who would you fight?" He asks

I sit and think about it for a moment and I answer, "I'd fight my father."

"Good answer." Tyler says, "I'd do the same thing."

"I don't know my father that well. I already told you that he abounded me when I was a kid."

"I know what you mean man." Tyler says with sympathy, "My father didn't go to college, so it was important that I go. Although he wasn't home that often. You see when I was six he moved away and started a whole new family. He did that about every six years, he'd pick up and move to a different city to start a new family. It's safe to say that the fucker was setting up a franchise. Anyway, after I graduate college I call him up long distance and I ask _Dad? Now what?_ And he says, _get a job._ I get a job and after a year I call him up long distance and say _Dad? Now what?_ And he says, _I don't know. Get married._"

"I can't even think about marriage right now." I say, "Living with Asuka has really made me wonder if a lot of girls my age are like her."

Tyler shrugs and he says, "I've thought about things like that when I was your age Shinji. And I came to the conclusion that we're a generation of men raised by women. And I'm wondering if another woman in our lives is really the answer we need. Then again I'm not sure if another man in our lives is the answer either."

"Good point." I say

A few minutes go by and the silence becomes unbearable. Now I start the question of who to fight. I've called this question and answer game "who to fight?" You basically give a category of people and ask whom would you fight among them. We already did one where we were asked the question of if we could fight anyone who would we fight? Now I started the new category. 

"How about movie stars?" I ask, "Who would you fight?"

"Alive or dead?" Tyler asks

I think and say, "Doesn't matter."

Tyler answers, "Brad Pitt."

"Who?" I ask

"Brad Pitt. He's an American actor, a celebrity magazine said that he was _The Sexiest Man Alive._ Just looking at his face on that cover made me just want to put a good dent in that pretty face of his. It's people like him that drive young women to starve themselves to death to please guys like him as well as young men like yourself Shinji who break their backs and sweat blood and motherfuckin' beer to make themselves like him. That's why I'd like to fight him. How about you?"

I pause for a moment; I'm trying to think of someone that I'd like to fight in this celebrity category. It's hard to think of someone but then someone came to my mind. 

"John Stewart." I said

"Oh," Tyler raises his hand knowing whom I was talking about, "You mean that guy who does the Daily Show on Comedy Central."

"Yeah, I'd like to fight him myself. To see if that sense of humor of his could stand up against good fighting."

"Good answer." Tyler compliments

"Good answer." Tyler compliments, "Alright. How about music stars?"

I had to think about that one for a moment, "I'd fight Barbara Striesand." I said

"Not a bad choice." Tyler smiled

"How about you?" I asked

"Eminem, the rapper." Tyler answered, "I think it would be funny that way when I knock him down I would say, _would the real Slim Shaddy please stay dead."_

"You know this is a lot of fun. It sure beats trying to win arguments with Asuka."

"Yeah." Tyler agrees, "What did she do to you today?"

"She was yelling at me because I wouldn't tell her what I was working on. I was working on the rules, but don't worry she can't read the kanji."

"Thank God for that." Tyler says, "The last thing we need is a stuck up little bitch like her ruining our fun. That's the other thing, Fight Club should only be for men. The women can have Oprah and Rikki Lake and all that, but we have Fight Club."

"Agreed." 

E 

There's no school for a while since the summer is beginning. That means I can go to those weekly on Tuesday Night meetings for testicular cancer as well as fight club on Saturday nights. Today would be my last day for it, and I still had the bruises from the fight Tyler and I had outside that bar. And tonight I would be going back there and this time we would have the right rules for it. 

Then Toji asked me again about the bruise on my face. 

"Shinji." He called, "What happened to your face."

"Like I said before Toji, it's nothing." 

I go back to finishing up my trivial studies. I look at my watch and find it to be four in the afternoon. I didn't need to meet Tyler at the bar parking lot until sometime around nine at night when it was nice and dark. I left the school grounds and on my way out I didn't know whether to go to Tyler's house and have our question and answer game of _who to fight_ or whether to go home. 

At last I decide to go home because I left a copy of the rules there.   
"Oh my god!" I thought, "The fight club rules! What if Misato were to find them?"

As soon as that through passed through my mind I ran home as if there were no tomorrow and I came through the door. I didn't burst my way through I simply walked through as if I was just walking home. Although I think the sweat droplets on my forehead did give me away.

When I walked through the door I heard Misato's voice from the kitchen, "You look like you ran home. What was the hurry?"

I knew I was in deep shit, if she found the rules in my room then she must know how I got the bruise on my face, please God, I thought, please don't let her see the rules.

"What's this?" Misato asked as she held up the paper that had the rules on it.

Oh no. I thought

She reads off the paper, "The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club? Do you want to tell me what this is?"

I had to think of an excuse quick, "It's not mine." I said

"This looks like your handwriting Shinji." Misato is waving the paper back and forth.

"It isn't, someone asked me to write that up." The excuse I thought of was somewhat true; Tyler did ask me to make the rules. Although I'm not going to tell her who it is, "One of my co-workers asked me to write that because of how good my handwriting is."

"Oh." Misato smiles, "It is nicely written. But who would want this written up."

Suddenly I decide a great way to get the rules back, "I'd be very careful of who you talk to about that. Because the person who thought that up is dangerous and this buttoned-down Oxford Cloth schizophrenic might just go over the edge and snap. Then he might stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-180 carbine gas-powered semiautomatic weapon." I move in closer so I can snatch the rules, and my fear treatment seems to be working, "The guy", I say, "is probably at home filing a cross into each of his rounds so that the force and the explosion will be greater. This may be someone you know, someone very close to you."

I snatch the rules away from Misato and I used to be such a nice guy, for a moment there it seemed like Tyler's words were coming from my lips. It felt great that Tyler's words were coming from me. 

"I wouldn't worry too much about it." I say, "There's no danger. It's probably something harmless."

Misato looks fearful, which is a side of her that I don't get to see very often. I take the rules and I fold it up and slip it into my pocket. 

Misato regains her own confidence and looks at me, "You know Shinji, you've been acting odd ever since you came back from Tokyo-2. Did you get laid while you were there."

"No." I said 

E 

I left home and headed to fight club with my jacket and my bag. I have the rules in my pocket and I'm walking to that bar that is called "Heaven". I see the neon sign with blue letters as well as the white glowing tubes that were in shapes of clouds around the blue letters of "Heaven". I wait under the sodium vapor lamps for Tyler but as I did I saw the doors of the bar Heaven open and Tyler steps out.

"What are you waiting out here for?" He asks, "I got a better spot."

He leads me into the bar, and when I enter it I can feel the stench of old smoke and beer mixed with other liquors. And on top of the smoke and alcohol I could already smell the sweat of nearly 10 other people in that place. It was enough to nearly make my eyes water like onions. 

Tyler leads me past this odious place and down to a basement. Down there I can smell the concrete and the water as well as the smell of damp soil for some reason. But I could also hear the sound of dripping water from the exposed pipes above my head. Along with the small and simple light fixtures that were giving off that soft yellow light in this basement. And on the floor are several pieces of cardboard taped together with duct tape. 

"This is our fight club arena." Tyler explains, "Shall we begin."

"Yes." I said, "But shall we go through the rules first?"

"I'll tell them." Tyler says he speaks as if there were other members there even though there was just him and me, "Gentleman!" He talks remembering him saying that fight club should be for men only, "Welcome to fight club. The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. Third rule, someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule, no shirt and no shoes."   
I began to take off my button up shirt off as well as my undershirt and take off my shoes. Tyler does the same thing. 

"Fifth rule," He continued, "Only two guys to a fight. Sixth rule, only one fight at a time. Seventh rule, fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at fight club you have to fight!"

"We understand." A voice came from behind us, I spun around and I found Toji and Keneske standing on the stairs. 

"How the hell did you two get here?" I ask

"We followed you here." Toji smiles, "Now we know where you got that bruise on your face."

"Would you like to join?" I ask

"Sure." Toji says and he takes off his jacket and his shirt as well as his shoes. And we stand on the mat and the fight is about to begin. Tyler stands at the sidelines along with Keneske; the two of them don't say anything to each other.

I fight Toji, he is the one who first beat me up when I came here, I did get some retribution when he said, "Hit me" all that time ago. Now this is a true fight, he understands the rules and so do I, now I will show him what I've become. When Tyler and I first started fight club I was cookie dough now after my first fight I feel as though I'm carved out of wood. 

I make the first punch at Toji's face and he begins to topple and he regains his balance and his next punch is in my side. I was in a great deal of pain, because Tyler had hit me there a few nights ago and I hadn't fully healed. But I regained my sense of balance.

I am Jack's Raging Adrenaline Gland, I draw back my fist and I really hit Toji so much that he falls over on his side. He gets back onto his ass and then when he got back up I gave him a good punch in his face and that sent him to his side. 

"Stop." He said

I looked to Keneske at my left, he looked at me with shock and fear, "My god." He said, "What's happened to you Shinji?"

"Simple Keneske. These are bruises from fighting and I have no problem with that. "This is my first step towards enlightenment."

I am Jack's Feeling of self-esteem. 

**__**

To be continued…

Author's Notes: The beginning sentence where Shinji Ikari says, "Rain… dark shadows of gloom hang above me. That's how I feel. This isn't how I wish to be." I got that from the last couple of episodes of Evangelion because that is Shinji's attitude when he came into Tyler's company as well as into Fight Club. I did want to emphasize a little bit on how Shinji felt about Asuka, I felt that if anyone were in his shoes they'd hate this girl for being the way she is. Plus, I also came to the conclusion that if Asuka had found out about Fight Club she'd either join in and try to beat the hell out of Shinji or try to report it to Misato. I did draw on the one line in the Fight Club movie where Edward Norton says "It's for men only" when Tyler suggests that Fight Club should be for men only, since some women have Oprah, Ricky Lake, and Soap Operas. 

Though I had to combine both the narrator and Tylers past for this story to give it some contrast to Shinji's past. Along with that I wanted to add in a part about Brad Pitt. The reason is because I find that in such irony for the movie. Tyler Durden is the kind of person who hates the attractive Hollywood types and yet whose playing Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt himself. So, that's why I added that comment in the "who to fight" game. 

I had added a few categories of my own to this game in the book/movie of Fight Club called, "Who would you fight?" I already used a few categories from the movie however I wanted to do a few of my own. Such as the music stars category, I chose Barbera Striesand simply because I was watching South Park at the time I thought of it ^_^. However, with Eminem, I thought of a Mad magazine cover that had him on it and there was a message on it saying, "Would the real Slim Shaddy, please shut up. Please shut up. Please shut up." So I thought of my own parody of it for Fight Club. In the part where Tyler says that fight club should be for men only I got that from the movie where Edward Norton explains, "It's for men only". Now things are starting to get interesting now that more members are joining fight club. 


	3. Soap

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Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, Fight Club or any of the songs that are used in this story. All copyrights belong to their respective owners.

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Readers Note: Recently, I had to take down my fan fics because of a small HTML corruption. This is a re-post 

Neon Genesis

EVANGELION 

E 

Episode: Unknown 03

Soap

E 

The fight I had with Toji was satisfying, I felt the same was I did when I left that meeting for men with Testicular Cancer, energized, reborn and better. Tyler was right, that through fighting one could find his own answers and I found that I had been living my whole life on the opinions of others. I lived for others, served others in order to achieve some kind of self-satisfaction. Well, no more, as Tyler said "_may I never be complete, may I never be content!" _

Yesterday while I was at Tyler's house I got a call on my Cell-phone, and I heard the voice on the other end. It's Asuka.

"Baka-Shinji!" She called me, "Where are you?" 

"Why is that important?" I ask

"Don't take that tone with me Third Child!" She yells

I set my cell phone down on the table and continue practicing my cello. I did bring it to Tyler's house, I figured that I'd get more peace if I practiced here. Plus Tyler told me that he likes the sound of it. He even told me that he played and instrument he played the guitar (both electric and classical) but he didn't play it anymore, for reasons which escapes me. But Tyler did tell me once, that it's better to do something than to watch it. 

"Watching sports on TV." He said, "Is like watching porno when you could be having great sex. So take your pick." 

While I'm practicing my cello I hear Asuka scream through the tiny speaker of the cell-phone. And I ignore it.

E 

Last night I had the strangest dream, as a matter of fact it made me sick to even think about it. I dreamed that I was having sex with Asuka, it felt like a dream because everything seemed so blurred and distant. It had this surrealistic feel to it, I guess this is what a drug trip would feel like.

At the time I woke up, I was in Tyler's home. He had some cereal there so I ate some of it. But then while I was eating I heard someone come down the stairs. I thought it would be Tyler and I said,

"I had the weirdest dream last night."

Then I heard a sweet voice say, "I can't really believe anything about last night."

I looked and I saw that red-haired bitch Asuka Langely Soryuu, I didn't understand why she was here. She had already ruined several parts of my life and made me feel even smaller then my father himself.

"What are you doing here?" I ask

She looks at me funny, "What?" She asks

"What are you doing here?"

She looks at me with a confused face and says, "Up yours Baka-Shinji." She then leaves and I still don't know why she's here. 

Then I hear another set of footsteps and it's Tyler, he's giggling a little bit. I see him dressed in this really ratty looking robe. And he's still giggling and he says to me,

"Man, Shinji." He smiles, "You've got some real fucked up friends."

"Why was she here?" I ask Tyler

He tells me this story about how he found my cell phone on the table and he hears Asuka going on and on. He picks up the phone and listens to Asuka go on and on like she always did. I have no idea what Tyler saw in Asuka, either he was horny and needed an easy piece of tail or maybe he felt sorry for her because of some bizarre reason. So, Tyler went to the condo and he brought Asuka here. Of course one thing lead to another and you know how it goes from there.

Tyler laughs, "And the shit that came out of this woman's mouth I haven't heard before in my life." 

Tyler tells me that Asuka said that she loved him and she wanted to have his pregnancies as well as his abortions. How could Tyler not go for that? Just for a part time job he put in sex scenes into kid's movies. I don't know how Asuka got into bed with Tyler, perhaps Tyler had that same 30-something appeal that Asuka must have a thing for. She did want to sleep with Kaji, so Tyler might have been the substitute until she can get into bed with Kaji. I remember reading in my biology book that girls like older men because they mature faster. Now that I think about it, I think that Asuka has a fetish for older men.

I say, "Asuka doesn't need a lover, she needs a goddamn therapist!" 

"I can say this about her," Tyler seems to complement, "She's trying to reach the top."

"And I'm not?" I ask

"Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken or any kind of bird."

I'm extremely pissed off by this, first Asuka invades my work, my home now she's invaded the friendship between Tyler and I.

"You have to promise me something." Tyler instructs, "You can't talk to her about me. If you do, this is all over."

"I promise." I said

"You promise?"

"I promise!"

"You promise?"

"_I promise!_ What the hell do you want from me?!"  
"That's three times."

I calm down just a bit, "What are we doing tonight?" I ask 

"Tonight, we make soap."

I'm slightly excited by this, "Really?"

"To make soap, first we need fat."

E 

Tyler and I had slipped our way into the city in the middle of the night and behind a small building. Until we came to a small area that was surrounded by barbed wire. Tyler laid a thick blanket over the barbed wire and we hid ourselves behind the dumpsters. 

"What are we doing here?" I whispered?

"You see, the best fat comes from humans." Tyler explained

"Wait what is this place?" I ask him

"This is a Liposuction clinic."

A Liposuction clinic, as Tyler would probably say, this is the place where young men and women come to make themselves look like how Calvin Klein or G-string models tell them to look. Now I had a sympathy for guys who are either my age or older than myself who cram themselves into gyms and Liposuction clinics like this one. 

Tyler jumps into one of the dumpsters and claws his way through it and he pulls out a large bag that was filled with a biohazard sign, blood, and what looked like Chicken fat. He pulls it out and throws it to me.

"This is it Shinji." He says, "The richest, creamiest fat in the world."

When I felt it made me think about Bob Paulson and how I tried to wrap my arms around his girth. The fat in this bag was just like that but looking at it like this with the blood made me feel a little bit sick. 

It didn't stop there, Tyler continued to throw bags out of the medical Dumpster and into my arms. Until there wasn't anymore left, we had about six or seven of those garbage-sized bags full of human fat. It did make me think of the patients who gave up part of their bodies to be in these bags. Along with that, their fat will become soap. 

We took the bags back to the house on Yuki Street, and we began to make the soap. One of the first things we did with the fat is boiled it. Although Tyler did come in with the fat, I have no idea what happened to the blood and I don't really want to know. After boiling the fat we store it into the refrigerator, making soap was almost like cooking from my point of view.

"This is like Boy Scouts." Tyler says

"Huh?" I ask

"Never mind." He says, "But here's an interesting fact, with some of the excess materials from soap you can make bombs out of it. Yup, with just enough soap you can blow up just about anything." He looks at me and says, "Come here. You see like I said, in order to make soap you need fat and lye. We have fat all we need is lye."

"Do we have that?" 

He leads me to the table that was already covered with mixing bowls and other kinds of tools for making soap. He puts on a pair of rubber gloves and some eye goggles. And he picks up a white plastic bottle and the label reads: Lye

"Give me you're hand." Tyler says

I give him my left hand, because I've usually seen things like this where they ask you for your hand they always do their essential hand, which is the right for right handed people. So I gave Tyler my non-essential hand, my left hand. He takes my left hand and wets his lips and kisses the top of my left hand. 

"What are you doing?" I ask

"This is a chemical burn." He says as he takes the white bottle of lye and pours it right over the place where he kissed the top of my left hand. You see the saliva from Tyler's kiss reacts with the lye on my hand and begins to burn me. I could already feel it sear right into my flesh. It was unbearable. 

"This will hurt worse than you've been burned." Tyler tells me, "it will leave a scar."

I tried not to think of the phrase _searing flesh_.

"Don't block it." Tyler says, "Don't block out the pain."

"Why!" I scream from the pain, "Why are you doing this to me?!"  
"This is another step." Tyler explains

I did learn a little bit about meditation, if that could work for emotional pain, then it could work for this too. I thought of myself lying on that beach in Tokyo-2, lying there in the sun, hearing the waves and feeling the heat. Then thinking about the sun's heat brought me back to the searing flesh on my hand. 

Tyler slaps me.

"This is your pain!" he yells, "This is it, right here! It's right on your hand."

I thought of myself walking on top of a mountain in the coolness of early morning. But even visualizing that I could still feel that heat on my hand and it brought me back to it. 

Tyler slaps me again, "this is the greatest moment of your life! And you're off somewhere in your head."

I tried to escape by Tyler has a firm grip on me, and he begins to tell me something.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask him again

"Our father's were models for God, Shinji." He explains, I don't know what he's talking about but hearing his philosophy did somewhat take my mind away from the pain, "If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God? You're going to have to accept the possibility that God does not like you, Shinji Ikari. He never wanted you, like your father, in all reality, he even hates you."

"What about our salvation?" I shutter

"Fuck salvation! Fuck damnation!" He shouts, "Fuck redemption. If we are God's unwanted children, then so be it!"

I struggle to get away again and I'm babbling, trying to get away from the pain.

"Shut up!" he shouts, "You can either pour water over it, or you can look at me!"

I look at him; I can feel the sweat pouring down my face. It's not trickling as normal; it was pouring as if I was standing in the shower. But I look at Tyler in the face, his eyes beam right into mine.

"Or," He says, "You can pour vinegar over it and neutralize the acid."

The heat almost felt like it had gone through my hand completely, as if the acid had eaten through my hand completely. 

"Do you have any idea how this feels!?" I shout

He shows me the back of his hand and I see a scar there in the shape of a kiss. I look at it and I think to myself if I'm going to have a scar like that on me. 

Tyler now speaks softly at me; "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."

He reached over for a big bottle that said "vinegar" on it and poured out over my hand. It did neutralize the acid but I could still feel the heat in my hand. As well as the wetness of the vinegar all over me since Tyler splashed it on me. 

"Congratulations." Tyler smiles, "You've just taken another step towards your enlightenment."

After we made the soap that night we put a business card and twine thread around each bar of soap. Then later that day we took the soap down to a local department store, to be honest I thought we were just going to use the soap for ourselves. But what Tyler had planned for these pink and white marble colored bars of soap is sell them. 

We sold the bars of soap to the department store for 2,500 Yen (20 dollars) a bar. God knows how much they charge, before we went in Tyler told me that this is beautiful poetic justice. We're selling rich women their own fat asses back to them. So in essence we're making money for the other end of the Liposuction deal. I couldn't help but laugh at this. 

E 

That night in fight club we had more members; there was even Makoto Hyuga, a short hair man with glasses. He's a lieutenant at Nerv, one of the operators, basically one of those people who report whatever happens to me or my Eva during an angel battle. Not only that but Makoto also gives Misato information on what goes on in Nerv at the highest branches. I guess it's safe to say that he's a spy within Nerv. He was there at fight club. So was the other lieutenant Shigeru Aoba, a long hair man who seemed to not take things very seriously. 

"Why were they at fight club?" I wondered, "Did they come here because Misato wanted to know what I do? Or did they come here for the same reasons but to fight?"

I would soon find out myself, but before any of that happened Tyler was about to give the rules. He made this routine, before Fight Club would begin he would give the rules. Just in case anyone new had come as well as a review for the frequent fighters. Although something seemed different about tonight, Tyler spoke but he didn't say the rules. 

"I look around, I look around." He says as he takes off his shirt, "I see a lot of new faces."

It is true those two lieutenants from Nerv were there, but the frequent fighters such as Toji and Kenske were there. But there were a few other men there, most of them were strangers. There was even Bob Paulson there among the crowd of strangers. He met with me a few days ago and he said that the testicular cancer group thought that I was dead. I told him that I found something new, he told me the same. And he began to repeat the rules of fight club, he told me that he goes on Wednesday nights. This was Saturday night, and he decided to come with me on these days to fight.

From the laughs Tyler shouts, "Shut up! This means that a lot of you have broken the first two rules of fight club."

He looks around at this room of young men somewhere in their twenties.

"I see all this potential." Tyler says, "And I see waste. Goddamn it, I see the brightest and best of my generation. They're pumping gas and waiting tables and being slaves with white collars. Our culture has made us all the same; no one is truly black, white or rich anymore. We all want the same thing. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy things we don't need." 

Tyler walks around the room speaking this little speech; "We are the middle children of history, my friends. We have no purpose or place; we have no Great War or a great depression. Not even the angel attacks on this city is a Great War, it's simply a survival test. Although we do have a Great War and Great Depression, our Great War is a spiritual war, and our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, movie gods and rock stars. But we won't and we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very, very pissed off."

There was a murmur of agreement for this small crowd of men.

"Before we begin." Tyler starts, "I should tell you something. This isn't a seminar! This isn't a weekend retreat!" He's shouting so much that it echoes off the concrete walls of the basement. "Where you are now you can't imagine what the bottom will be like! Only after disaster can we be resurrected, it's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything!"

He pauses for a moment, "Gentleman! Welcome to fight club." He's about to start reading the rules, "The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club! The second rule of fight club is _you do not talk about fight club!_ Third rule, someone yells 'stop', goes limp or taps out. The fight is over. Fourth rule, only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule, one fight at a time, guys. Sixth rule, no shirt and no shoes. Seventh rule, fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule! If this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight!" 

E 

My fight partner I chose (after Tyler's _Middle Children of History_ speech) Shigeru Aoba, Mr. Long Hair. That's the rule, this is his first night at fight club, so he has to fight. I fought him, but when I fought him, I fought harder than ever. Not even the fight I had with Toji or Tyler was this fierce. Tyler's words impacted me in a way that I can't explain now. But I knew what I wanted to do, I didn't want to serve my father's whims anymore. I don't want to break my back to try to get some gratification out of him. No more, I don't want anyone's gratitude, Not my father's, Misato's, or Asuka's. 

I held Mr. Long Hair down and I began to pound his face in, I saw the fear in his eyes when he saw his own co-worker beat him up. In a way it's funny that a 15-year-old kid like myself could be beating up a 20-something year old. I hammered Mr. Long Hair's face, first with my bony knuckles like a pounding jackhammer. Then I hit him with the tight butt of my fist since my knuckles were raw from his teeth that I had been pounding. 

What Tyler says about being the crap and the slaves of the white collars, that's how I feel, I wanted to destroy everything beautiful I'd never have. I wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save it's own species. I wanted to open the dump valves on supertankers and uncap offshore oil wells. I wanted to kill all the fish I couldn't afford to eat and smother all the French beaches I'd never see in my life. 

For thousands of years, human beings have screwed everything up. And now after the Second Impact they expect me to save the world from the angels? History expects me to save a selfish race of people so we can continue to screw everything up? I'm supposed to clean up after what my selfish ancestors have done? The fate of a mankind who thinks about nothing except killing each other in the name of their beliefs depends on me? I don't goddamn think so! 

It was the morning after the fight I had with Mr. Long Hair that Tyler created Project Mayhem. He knew that we had to take fight club up a notch, I was already beginning to feel a tolerance for fighting because like anything else you build up a tolerance for it.

We're sitting at the table eating cereal out of plastic containers. It was then that Tyler made his revelation.

"Imagine," he said, "Stalking for you're meal past department store windows and stinking racks of rotting dresses and tuxedos. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life and you'll climb the wrist-thick vines that wrap the New-Tokyo Tower. You'll climb up through the dripping forest canopy and the air will be so pure and clean that you would see tiny figures pounding corn and vegetables along some abandoned super highway." 

The goal of Project mayhem, Tyler told me, is the complete and right-away destruction of civilization.

"What about the angels?" I asked him

"Kill the angels." Tyler says, "They want to kill humanity, we want to break-up civilization. So we can't let the angels ruin our plans for Project Mayhem. So Death to the Angels."

"Death to Angels." I say

**_To be continued…_**

Author's Notes: In this chapter I wanted Shinji to realize that he didn't have to survive on the whims and satisfaction of others. I felt that the _Middle Children of History _speech were just right to snap Shinji out of trying to please everyone. This is why I made this crossover of Fight Club and Evangelion to bring Shinji to this realization. However, Tyler's going to take it even further then what Shinji wants. 


	4. Project Mayhem

****

Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, Fight Club or any of the songs that are used in this story. All copyrights belong to their respective owners.

****

Readers Note: Recently, I had to take down my fan fics because of a small HTML corruption. This is a re-post. Also for the events that are about to take place in this chapter, don't take them literally. It's only a story. ;-) 

Neon Genesis

EVANGELION 

E 

Episode: Unknown 04

Project Mayhem

E 

"How about Historical Figures?" I asked Tyler

"I'd fight Lincoln."

"Lincoln?" I asked

"Yeah, tall guys fight till the end. How about you?"

"I'd fight Hitler." 

Tyler smiles, "Good Answer"

E 

I had another dream last night, I dreamt that Tyler was recruiting people from Fight Club. All of them were dressed in black, there were even the lieutenants from Nerv as well as Toji and Kenske. All of them were dressed in black, black pants, shirt and boots. Each of them came into the house on Yuki Street and began to work. Each of these "space monkeys" as Tyler called them was performing their own tasks. Some were making soap while others were scraping this substance off the top of the refrigerated fat, and the rest were outside in a garden, sowing and planting. It was a working machine in this house, guy's one inch away from each other, a living organism. 

I remember Tyler speaking to these people, but I can see his face close to mine. "This isn't a seminar!" He shouts as if speaking to a crowd, "This isn't a weekend retreat. Where you are now you can't imagine what the bottom will be like. Only after disaster can we be resurrected, it's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." He pauses and looks left and right, "You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are all part of the same compost heap. You are not your bank account! You are not the clothes you wear! You are not the contents of your wallet! You are not your cancer! You are not your cup of coffee! You are not the car you drive! You are not you're fucking khakis. You have to give up, all of you must realize that someday you will die. Until you know that, you are useless!" 

Planet Tyler. Tyler was building an army. But what was this army for? Was this for Project Mayhem? Then again it's only a dream. That is until I woke up.

I woke up and I found that I wasn't dreaming I got downstairs past the staircase that was about to fall in and find that everything in my dream was real. It was wall to wall with guys in black clothing, some of them had shaved their hair off their heads while some still had their hair. I come down the stairs in my robe. I am Jack's Feeling of Confusion. Where's Tyler? 

I find one of the space monkeys and I find that it's Toji Suzahara.

"Toji." I say, "Where's Tyler?"

"Sir." He says, "The first rule of Project Mayhem is you do not ask questions."

I then remember Tyler saying the rules of Project Mayhem in my dream, "The First rule of Project Mayhem is you do not ask questions. The second rule of Project Mayhem is you do not ask questions. Third rule, no lies. Fourth rule, no excuses. And the fifth and finale rule, Trust in me!"

"I understand" I tell Toji whom obviously became one of these space monkeys like the rest of this organic machine. Tyler's not here. He's gone. 

History has repeated itself, my father dumped me and now Tyler dumped me. I am Jack's broken heart. 

I sit outside and watch the space monkey's work in the garden and I think about the night we came back from when I made the beating of Mr. Long Hair. Tyler is driving and he looks at me and is about to ram the car into another oncoming car. Then he asks me something, "If you were to die now Shinji Ikari. What would you wish you had done before you died?"

"I don't know." I say

"This isn't a sit and think question Shinji!" He shouts, "If you were to die now how would you feel about your life?"

"I don't know, I guess I wouldn't feel too proud about it!"

I try to grab the wheel and Tyler stops me, but he pulls back into normal traffic.

"Goddamn it Tyler!" I shout

"Look at you Shinji! You're trying to control everything. You have to let go. What would you wish you would have done before you died?"

I thought about it seriously, "I would want to hurt my father." I said, "I don't want to kill him, I just want him to feel the same pain as I did."

"I'll make sure of that." Tyler smiles. 

I thought about this until I see a familiar figure come towards me from the garden. It's Asuka.

I know what she's come for, sometimes when I would come home I could hear her and Tyler humping through the ceiling. They were going at it so hard that flecks of drywall were coming down from the ceiling. But that was to be expected with this house. 

I see her coming towards and I stand up and I look at her.

"Tyler's not here." I say

"What?" She asks

"_Tyler, isn't here." _I repeat, "Tyler went away. Tyler gone."

She leaves with a confused look on her face but it's of no concern to me. She never even gave me the goddamn time, so why should I care about her?

Suddenly from behind me I hear a rustling of noises, the space monkeys are shouting. I run in and I find them carrying Bob Paulson, the man whom first allowed me to cry. I saw him in the arms of the space monkey as they laid him on the table. 

"What's going on?!" I shouted

"Sorry sir." One of the space monkey's says to me, this one happens to be Mr. Long Hair, the lieutenant of Nerv, "We were completing a mission, our mission was to destroy a piece of corporate art, while trashing a franchise fast food place. Everything was going well sir. But they shot Bob."

I look and I see Bob's head, his eyes are as wide open as if he was awake. But half of his skull was in bloody pieces while his brain pieces were dripping out onto the table and into my hands. 

"We have to bury the body!" Toji shouts, "We can't let the police find out. Bury him in the garden!"

"This isn't a piece of evidence!" I shout, "This is a person. And now he's dead."

"He died serving Project Mayhem, sir."

"His name is Robert Paulson. And he's a man with a family."

Silence, then Makoto says, "But sir, in Project Mayhem we don't have any names."

"Listen to me!" I said, "This man has a name and it's Robert Paulson. You understand!"

There's a pause from the confused look among the space monkey's faces.

"I understand." Mr. Long Hair said, I could see the bruises and a great deal of damage that I did when I fought him, "In death, we do have a name. His name is Robert Paulson."

"His name is Robert Paulson." Makoto repeats

"His name is Robert Paulson." Toji Repeats

And soon the whole room of space monkey's was repeating the phrase _his name is Robert Paulson._

I run upstairs into Tyler's room and rummage through the drawers and suddenly I find something. I find old airline ticket stubs of the cities across Japan. So I went straight for the airport. I knew that I was going AWOL, but if Tyler's planning some kind of malice against the city then it is my job to protect the city. 

E 

I wake up in different cities, Sendai, Okaiyama, Ise, I wander from bar to bar asking anyone if they've seen Tyler. Until I come to a small bar in a town named Izumo that I talk to the bartender and he calls me sir and winks at me. This search for Tyler was like trying to find the invisible man; I was always one step behind. I finally give up my search and come home, it's there that I stop by the Heaven bar. And I hear the staff there chanting the phrase, "his name is Robert Paulson". I then hear this voice.

"Welcome home, sir."

I turn around and find a man with a halo brace around his head while he's cleaning glasses behind the bar. 

"When was the last time I was here?" I ask

"Is this a test?" 

"No."

"You were here a few days ago, you were standing right in the same spot where you are now. You were asking how security is. It's tight as a drum, sir."  
Suddenly something comes to my mind, "Who do you think I am?"

"Are you sure this isn't a test?" 

"Yes."

"You're Mr. Durden, sir." He lifts the back of his right hand towards me and I see a scar on his left hand in the shape of a kiss muck like the scar on my left hand, "You're the one who gave me this, sir. You're on you're way to becoming a fucking legend sir."

Ladies and Gentleman please put your seats back in the full and upright position. 

I dash back to the cheap hotel that I was staying at and I make the call back to my house with Asuka and Misato. I hear the phone being picked up and I hear Misato's voice.

"Hello?"

"Misato." I say

"Shinji?" She asks, "Where in the hell have you been! We've been worried sick about you!"

"There isn't time for that!" I shout, "I need to talk to Asuka!"

I hear the phone being exchanged.

"Hello?" I hear Asuka's voice

"Asuka." I say, "Have we ever slept with each other?"

"What?" Asuka's says

"Just answer me, have we ever had sex?"

"You really are weird! You love me and make love to me, then you turn into a total jackass, is that an accurate description of our relationship, Tyler?"

We have just lost cabin pressure.

"What?" I ask, "Say my name again."

"Tyler!" She shouts, "Tyler Durden!"

"Asuka." I say, "Calm down. I'm going to come over in a while. Please, you and Misato wait for me there!"

I hand up the phone and I hear a familiar voice behind me. 

"You talked to her about me." 

I look and find Tyler sitting in one of the customary chairs of the hotel room. 

"Alright Tyler!" I shout, "What the hell is going on!"  
"I asked you for one simple thing." He shrugs, "Just one simple thing."

"Why do people think that I'm you?"

He beams at me, "I think you already know that."  
I am Jack's Raging Feeling of Panic

"No." I say, "I don't."

"Sit down." He says,

I do so.

"Why do you think you're so tired when you wake up?" he asks me leaning forward, "Why do you think you have weird dreams?"

Because… I think and suddenly the flashes of dreams I've had seem so real. Then something so terrifying comes to my mind.

"Because," I say, "We're the same person."  
Tyler smiles and nods, "That's why."

"This can't be real." I shutter

Tyler looks at me with that serious look on his face, "It is real. You were looking for a way to change your life. You couldn't do this on your own. All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you want to look and I fuck like you want to fuck, I am smart, capable and most of all I'm free in all the ways you aren't. Sometimes you're you, and other times you imagine yourself watching me. You see Shinji, people do this all the time and they talk to themselves and see themselves, as they like to be. They don't have the courage you have to run with it."

"But what about the house on Yuki street?" I ask in panic

"Rented in your name." Tyler explains without hesitation

"You have night jobs."

"You have night jobs, Shinji. Otherwise you stay up all night making soap."  
"What about Asuka, you're humping Asuka."

"Technically, Shinji. You're fucking Asuka, but it's all the same to her. But since you've broken you're promise I can't allow this. So I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands."

I fall asleep, I think this is the part that's called "the change over" the story goes on and the audience has no clue. 

I wake up and I snap to my watch and find I had been sleeping for about three hours. I rush downstairs to check out and the desk clerk gives me a series of telephone calls. I take the list with me and I go back to the house on Yuki Street to find it empty as a shell. I look on the wall and find folders with street addresses on them; I look in each of them. 

Now I know what Project Mayhem is really about. Tyler's going to blow up all the corporate buildings in the Tokyo-3 area. Credit Card companies, Franchise organizations, and airline headquarters. 

I have to report this to someone. The only one that I have in my mind is Misato and Asuka. If I report this to them then they can tell Nerv and it will undermine Project Mayhem directly. I can't do this myself otherwise Tyler will find out, if I know this then Tyler will know this. 

I head directly for my old home with Asuka and Misato. I bang on the door.

"Misato!" I shout, "Asuka!"

The door opens and Misato is there, I look into her eyes and I see a mixture of joy to see me as well as anger and confusion. But she then throws her arms around me.

"I'm home." I say

"Welcome home." She whispers. 

E 

I'm sitting down with Asuka and Misato, the contents of the folders that I've gotten from the house on Yuki Street are spread out across the table.

"Whoever did this, is very good." Misato complements, "It's very detailed down the tiniest scribble. But it looks like whoever did this is going to… blow up the foundations. We can't let them do that otherwise the buildings will drop onto the Geo Front."

"That's why I'm here, Misato." I say, "I have to turn myself over."

"Why?" Asuka asked me

"I'm the one who drew up these plans."

"Why?" Misato asked me

"I have split personalities. One I'm myself as Shinji Ikari and the other I'm a man known as Tyler Durden. Please." I take Asuka and Misato's hand, "Please. Leave Tokyo-3 until this blows over. Just take the train, go camping somewhere, just leave Tokyo-3, the farther the better. I'm afraid I've gotten both of you involved in this. So please leave this place. I have to face Tyler myself. But don't tell me where you're going otherwise he'll know as well."

"Shinji," Misato speaks softly, "I meant to tell you that something's happened to your father."

Just the sound of that made me shudder, I remembered what I had told Tyler. I wanted my father to suffer just as I had suffered, but I wanted to know what Tyler has done.

"Someone planted a bomb in Commander Ikari's office. He didn't die but he's in pretty bad shape."

The funny part about that was I'm glad my father was in the hospital, now he knows those same feelings I felt when I was there. The other part of me wanted to stop Tyler from carrying out this final part of Project Mayhem. 

"I have to find Tyler." I said

"Alright, Shinji." Misato exhales, "But before we go, there's something I need to give you."

She gets up and leaves for a moment, and so I can talk to Asuka for a moment. 

"Shinji." Asuka says, "I didn't realize it. I thought that Tyler Durden was a nice name you picked for yourself. And the way you acted when you had that name, it reminded me of Kaji. There are things I like about you as Tyler, you're smart, you're funny, and you're spectacular in bed."

I knew that she slept with Tyler as a substitute until she could get into bed with Kaji.

"I know, Asuka." I say, "But I have to say that I do like you and I don't want to see anything happen to you or Misato."

Misato comes back with a small orange vile in her hand.

"What's that?" I ask

Misato hands it to me, "It's a psychological drug. Ritsuko gives me any kind of drugs that the Eva pilot would need. And she did have a hypothesis that split personalities might occur from piloting the Eva. But it was a bit preposterous in my opinion but she gave this to me just in case."

"You're saying, Ritsuko prepared for something like this in advance?"

"Yeah."

"Some people really do all the planning."

"True."

I gather the materials, "Now, Asuka, Misato. Please leave immediately and get as far away from here as you can." 

"You'll also need this." Misato said as she handed me her .45mm handgun, "Just in case you run into trouble."

E 

I head to the local police station to turn myself in, unfortunately what I found out was that the officers there also in on Project Mayhem. They told me that if anyone interferes with Project Mayhem, they had to remove his balls. And I was that person.

I am Jack's Raging Adrenaline Gland 

I try to escape but I couldn't until I reached as quickly as I could and I pulled one of their guns away. I ran out of the police station without my pants on and I'm running in my underwear. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. I'm on my own. So I took matters into my own hands. I knew that I had time, I knew that because Tyler knew that. 

I counted how many folders there were and there were eight. I went from building to building. I found the same thing in each place; a white van in the basement each filled with Nitro-Glycerin attached to a timer. All I did was pulled the green wires, I knew that it was the green wires because Tyler knew that. 

Until at last I came to the last building.

"Man what are you doing here!" Tyler's voice rang out, "What are you doing running around town in your underwear? Man, you look like a crazy person!"

I'm trying to get into the last building.

"Hey, I know a good place! It'll be like pay-per view!"

I blast my way in, just like the other places, by blasting in the glass doors with the gun Misato gave me. It did give me a feeling of power to have that gun but not kill anyone, but to use it in a good cause. This is a good cause; I'm preventing massacre. 

I made my way to the basement, and I find that same white van. I open up the back doors and I find the tubs of Nitro-Glycerin all attached by wire to the timer. I sit up near the timer so I can pull the right wire.

"I wouldn't do that." Tyler says, I know that he's behind me even though he's just a voice in my head.

"If you know then I know. I've already done that with the other seven buildings."

"Maybe, I knew that you'd know so I spent the whole day thinking about the wrong ones."

"If that's the case then why have the others worked?" Tyler doesn't answer me, for the first time he doesn't have an answer for me, "Got you."

I look at the wires, and they're all green. 

My god, I thought, how am I going to stop this one. Which green would it be? I reach for one at random. Tyler is now in the front seat looking at my work. I reach for one.

"No, not that one." He says as my fingers wrap around one of the random green wires, "Heaven's no not that one. Pull anyone but that one."

I'm about to pull it but Tyler reaches up and punches me backward and he kicks me out of the van. He comes out and closes up the van.

I point my gun at him, "Get away from the van Tyler! Get away from the van!" I'm shouting so hard that I can feel that ticklish scratching feeling in my throat. Tyler doesn't move. I fire off a short near his head. And he panics.

"Woah!" he shouts, "Woah! All right, you are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend… NEAR 400 GALLONS OF NITRO-GLYCERIN!"

He comes up to me and I shoot again and my bullet passes right through him like I'm shooting at a mirage. Then Tyler draws back his fight and his me, I'm knocked out. 

E 

I wake up on one of the floors of the building that I was trying to save. I'm sitting down in a leather chair and Tyler has the gun that Misato gave me in my mouth. 

"Sorry Shinji." Tyler says, "You're work is commendable. You did dismantle all the bombs on your own, except this one. But you've failed, you see our people have reconnected them. And the destruction and collapse of civilization will occur in about…" He looks at his watch, "5 minutes. Just think about all the things we've accomplished. Such as how much you've grown emotionally. You know all this was for you."

When you have a gun barrel in your mouth you can only speak syllables. I mumble, Tyler pulls the gun out of my mouth. 

4 minutes

"All for me?" I ask

"That's right." Tyler smiles, but his smile is like some kind of psychotic jack-o-lantern.

"But I don't want this." I say begging, "I beg you Tyler, stop this, call this off."

"Do you want to go back to the condo life, with the beer drinking hag and the screaming Asuka Bitch? I don't think so." 

Tyler points out the window, I look out and I see the space monkey's carry out Misato and Asuka out of a bus.

"Why are they here?" I ask Tyler

"Tying up loose ends." 

"Please call this off."

2 Minutes

Tyler sits down on one of the wooden boxes, "Hey, you created me. I didn't create some looser alter ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility for it!"

"I do. But this is too much. Since when is Project Mayhem about murder?"

"The buildings are completely empty. Security and maintenance, all of them are our people. We're not killing them, we're setting them free."

"Bob Paulson is dead Tyler, he was shot."

Tyler sighs, "You want to make an omelet you got to break some eggs."

I grab my head, "Goddamn it! You're a voice in my head!"  
"You're a voice in _mine!_ Have I ever let us down, Shinji? I'll bring you through this and I'll carry you kicking and screaming and in the end you'll thank me."

Suddenly I think logically about all of this, "You're not there, you're not holding the gun." I say, "I am." I have the gun in my hand. 

"So what are you going to do? Shoot yourself? That won't solve anything."

I reach into my pocket of my shirt and pull out the vile and one of the pills, I lay it under my tongue.

1 minutes

"Oh, suicide caps?" Tyler asks

"No." I say, with the pill under my tongue, "Listen to me Tyler. I really want you to listen to me."  
"Yes?" Tyler asks

"My eyes are truly open."   
I tongue the pill down my throat and I swallow. 

10 seconds… 9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Nothing happens. Nothing, the buildings are still standing I hear no explosion. I'm starting to feel a bit sleepy. I just realized that I never asked Misato what the side effects of this drug are. I guess I'm feeling it now, I'm seeing Tyler do the same things I am, and he's on his side as if he was asleep. 

"Did you use Paraffin Tyler?"

Paraffin was a stabilizing agent for the Nitroglycerine, some say it's not reliable

"Yeah." Tyler says in a sleepy daze

"You idiot. You should know that paraffin never works for me."

E 

"Baka-Shinji!" I hear a voice call

I wake up again in my room, my small cramped room and Asuka is standing over me dressed in her school uniform and I'm still here in bed looking up at the unfamiliar ceiling. But what happened? Was it all a dream or had I been Tyler's dream?

"It's time you got up, Baka-Shinji." Asuka tells me

"Thank you Asuka." I say, "I'll be right up." 

Asuka leaves.

I feel something in my left hand, I pull my left hand out from the covers and I find that I don't have that scar there anymore. I am holding something, I'm afraid to see what it is but I want to know. I turn my left hand over and I find a bar of soap, that pink and white marble soap bar in my hand with the card of the Paperstreet Soap Company. There's no string attached to it, I take the card and turn it over and on it is a phrase. 

__

"You win, Shinji." 

Tyler

**__**

End.

Author's Notes: When I watched the movie, all the buildings did blow up in the movie. I didn't exactly like the end of it, plus it reminded me too much of recent events. That's why I made the ending a little different so it wouldn't be such a tasteless reminder of the tragic event, September 11th. Plus, I decided to end it on a much more dramatic note. Instead of the buildings being blown up I made it so that it was all a dream to Shinji. Or was it? I thought that just by making it into a dream would be too clean cut, so I placed that bar of soap and that card from the Paperstreet soap company to pose the question, "was it really a dream?" However, I wouldn't take it too literally. After all, it's only a story. ^_^;

Also, there's another part to this. I had made two Evangelion fan fictions. This one, Evangelion Fight Club, and the other one called, "The Angel with Broken Wings", a fan fiction about the 17th angel, Kaworu Nagisa. At the time, I had posted both fan fictions to see which one would turn out to be the best Eva fic I could do. I rated both of them by how many reviews they had, since I don't have the extra features that Fanfiction.net offers to see how many people actually read this, so the reviews were the best counting tool I had on hand. By about the third chapter for both Eva fan fictions, it wasn't that even. "Evangelion Fight Club" had 20 reviews by the third chapter, while "The Angel with Broken Wings" only had 6. That told me that "Eva Fight Club" had done better than any of the fan fictions I had done, even my Gundam Wing fan fictions didn't do this good. I think that the numbers speak for themselves. 

If you liked this story, please check out the other stories I have here at Fan Fiction.net, thanks for reading. ;-) 


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